Friday, July 18, 2008

WWMD? Episode 3

I haven't had time for an original What Would Martha Do? post this week since we're settling into our new home. In fact, Martha might be quite pleased with the way my house looks this week, other than the turd Tango left in Little Son's room the other day. But it's gone now, I promise. Anyway, I resurrected this hilarious e-mail comparing the way Martha does things, and the way Bubba's Sis does things. Whoever wrote this has me pegged!

Martha's way: Stuff a miniature marshmallow in the bottom of an ice cream cone to prevent ice cream drips.
Bubba's Sis' way: Just suck the ice cream out of the bottom of the cone, for Pete's sake! You are probably lying on the couch with your feet up eating it, anyway!

Martha's way: To keep potatoes from budding, place an apple in the bag with the potatoes.
Bubba's Sis' way: Buy Hungry Jack mashed potato mix. Keeps in the pantry for up to a year.

Martha's way: When a cake recipe calls for flouring the baking pan, use a bit of the dry cake mix instead and there won't be any white mess on the outside of the cake.
Bubba's Sis' way: Go to the bakery! They'll even decorate it for you.

Martha's way: If you accidentally over-salt a dish while it's still cooking, drop in a peeled potato and it will absorb the excess salt for an instant 'fix-me-up.'
Bubba's Sis' way: If you over-salt a dish while you are cooking, that's too bad. Please recite with me the real woman's motto: 'I made it, you will eat it and I don't care how bad it tastes!'

Martha's way: Wrap celery in aluminum foil when putting in the refrigerator and it will keep for weeks.
Bubba's Sis' way: Celery? Never heard of it!

Martha's way: Brush some beaten egg white over pie crust before baking to yield a beautiful glossy finish.
Bubba's Sis' way: The Mrs. Smith frozen pie directions do not include brushing egg whites over the crust, so I don't.

Martha's way: Cure for headaches: take a lime, cut it in half and rub it on your forehead. The throbbing will go away.
Bubba's Sis' way: Take a lime, mix it with tequila, chill and drink! 'All' your pains go away.

Martha's way: If you have a problem opening jars, try using latex dishwashing gloves. They give a non-slip grip that makes opening jars easy.
Bubba's Sis' way: Go ask that very cute neighbor if he can open it for you.

Martha's way: Don't throw out all that leftover wine. Freeze into ice cubes for future use in casseroles and sauces.
Bubba's Sis' way: Leftover wine??????????? HELLO !!!!!!!

Be sure to stop by OK, Where Was I? for this week's WWMD? and leave a link there (and here!) if you're playing along. It's a good thing.


Ok, Where Was I? said...

This is great. It's not cheating at all b/c there are no rules and b/c it's so good. I love the lime one (although I suspect Martha would like your method better as well).

D... said...

I agree with all of it, especially the sucking of the ice cream from the bottom of the cone. Yum!

And my motto is: If you don't like it, you know how to make a peanut butter sandwich. I'm not a restaurant. I'm not even the cook!

Pleasing Procrasinator said...

I am in agreement with you. I am not the cook either but when he does bestow on me this great honor it's from a box, bag or take-out. The last is the most preferred by the family.
Love the lime idea.
Great post.

crazy working mom said...

Heh heh heh...I ♥ the leftover wine one! :)

Stacey said...

LOL LOL LOL!! This is sooo funny, B/S, love it! I especially liked the lime tip, the cake tip, the ice cream drips tip, and of course the jars tip! xoxo

Jennie said...

ROFL! I'll take your way over Martha's any day of the week. You need a TV show.

jennyonthespot said...

Now see - those are tips I can put into GOOD use! You are a frickin' wellspring of goodness!