I gotta be me!

From Navy Son:

Where Did This Bible Come From?

That was the title of the sermon in my church today, the first of a 3-part series on The DaVinci Code. Hopefully within the next few days you can listen to the whole thing here. But for now, I'll hit the highlights because I was fascinated by what I didn't know!

The first page of The DaVinci Code states that "all descriptions of artwork, architecture, documents, and secret rituals in this novel are accurate." Oh really. Well, the Bible is a document, and an excerpt from the DVC book states, "The Bible is a product of man, my dear. Not of God. The Bible did not magically fall from the clouds. Man created it as a historical record of tumultuous times, and it has evolved through countless translations, additions, and revisions. History has never had a definitive version of the book." It also states that "the Bible as we know it today was collated by the pagan Roman emperor Constantine the Great." Apparently he chose which gospels did or did not go into the Bible based on his political agenda. In reality, Constantine was a Christian, and documents from the Council of Nicaea in 325 never mention his picking and choosing the gospels. The Old Testament was put together somewhere between 400 and 100 B.C., and the content is EXACTLY the same as what we have now. For a gospel to be considered for the New Testament, it had to be written by an apostle or one directly mentored by an apostle, and the content had to be consistent with the life and teachings of Jesus. The general consensus of what was to be included in the New Testament was pretty much established by 300 A.D., so for SEVENTEEN CENTURIES we have had the same book. What about the Apocrypha, you ask? These gospels were written WELL after the New Testament gospels (like 120 years later), so there are no "first hand accounts" of anything. The church authorities did not include them in the New Testament because they were not written by an apostle or one directly mentored by an apostle, and most were not consistent with the life and teachings of Jesus. The Bible that we have is exactly how it should be - exactly the way God wants it to be. And exactly the way it has been for centuries and centuries. So, Dan Brown, perhaps not all your descriptions of documents are accurate. There are many other historical inconsistencies in the book - i.e. Romans did not invent crucifixion, the Persians did - and Constantine did not shift the Sabbath to Sunday from Saturday to coincide with the pagans' veneration day of the sun! There are far too many more to list. If you are curious about something you have read in The DaVinci Code, do some research on it and see for yourself what the real truth is. Jesus is the way, the TRUTH, and the life.

Friday or Monday?

My Friday felt more like a Monday today. It started off as soon as I woke up and heard it storming outside. Big thunder and lightning, hard rain. Wish I could sleep in, but I must get the kids off to school. Good Girl Dog is scared of storms, and she peed on the carpet this morning. OK, I can deal with that. She's scared. I get everyone ready to go and we are out the door. Now, I drive daughter to school every day because she goes to a magnet school for gifted & talented kids and there is no bus service there. And every morning the dogs ride with me to take her to school. They love it. Since I never get out of the van, I just pull some pants on under my nightgown and put a t-shirt over it - no shoes. No one's gonna see me, right? I decide since the weather is so bad this morning that I'll just drive son to school, too - no sense making him wait for the bus in that mess! So out we go to the van. I open the side door and put the dogs in. Son opens other side door to get in and Naughty Little Boy Dog jumps out and takes off down the driveway! It is POURING! Crap! So we jump in the van and go after him (he is FAST) and finally catch up with him down the street - he saw a neighbor getting into his car and ran up to him, so Nice Neighbor Man picked him up and held him out to me at arm's length (wet dog - yuk!). I then have to get out of the van, in the pouring rain, in my attractive outfit with my nightie hanging out, to get Naughty Dog. Throw Naughty Dog into the van. We're off. But wait - when we drive back by the house, the garage door is up. Push button. Push button again. It won't go down. I get out to see what's up with THAT - apparently when son lunged to try to stop Naughty Dog, he knocked a bucket in front of the door sensor. Fixed that. Door going down now. We're off again. Back out of the driveway, I'm dragging something under the van. Shit! I get out AGAIN in the pouring rain to find the trash can lid wedged in the front wheel well (I guess I ran over it - heh heh). I pulled it out, threw it in the yard, and we're off again. Got kids to school, came home, and went back to bed! I figured I deserved an extra couple of hours of sleep!

Later as I was checking my e-mail my long-time friend and neighbor sent me an IM that said, "Are you having a good morning?" My reply: "I'm having a shitty morning." And she says, "Yes, I saw. Nice outfit by the way." I wonder how many OTHER people saw me chasing Naughty Boy Dog around in the rain with my nightie hanging out?!?

I called the vet today and got a price on getting Naughty Boy Dog neutered.

The DaVinci Code

OK, I am a little behind the times, but I am currently reading The DaVinci Code. It has been on my "To Read" list for some time, but I was finally convinced to pick it up after church on Sunday; this coming Sunday our preacher is starting a sermon series on the book - a "search for the truth" as he calls it. With the release of the movie less than a month away, millions of Americans will come away from it with a distorted viewpoint about Jesus, presented in a way that sounds surprisingly plausible; the line between fact and fiction will blur. I had heard rumors of the controversies within the book, but now that I am reading it for myself I am seeing how this could shake the beliefs of many Christians. I know what I believe. This book has not changed that. But just how powerful will this piece of fiction be? What questions will people be asking? Was Mary Magdalene really Jesus' wife and the mother of His child? Did the church suppress the truth and fabricate Jesus' claim to divinity? Is the Bible, as we have it, really accurate and authentic? Did Jesus really come back from the dead? I think that God can and WILL use this moment and this book and movie for His glory! What an opportunity for believers to set straight the claims presented in the book and movie and discuss Christianity with others! If one person is brought to Christ thru this experience, then it is well worth it.

And by the way, I just don't see Tom Hanks as Robert Langdon. He is SO Harrison Ford!

Doggie Breath

Today my puppy (OK, he's a year old, but to me he's still a puppy) ate up daughter's tube of American Girl lip gloss - Chocolate Mint flavored. Now every time he comes into the room I smell it! Sure beats Dog Breath!

Naval Piercings and Such

Chatted with Navy Son today via Instant Messenger. Found out that he has gotten a tattoo on his back, AND had both his nipples pierced. I didn't believe him until he showed me on his WebCam. For some reason I just laughed. I don't believe that would have been my reaction when he still lived at home.

Safe and Sound

I talked to an OnStar lady today - not because I had a problem, but because I wanted to sign up for their free new service where your vehicle runs a diagnostic check every 30 days and e-mails you the results! Pretty cool, huh? Anyway, I think the whole OnStar system is pretty cool. I just push the blue button in my van and I can talk - hands free - to the OnStar representative. Their voice comes thru my stereo system and they can hear me thru a small microphone in the front of the van. It is definitely worth the monthly fee to have that security of knowing that if something happened to me while I was driving, help is just the push of a button away. Kind of like an Automotive Guardian Angel!

Al, we barely knew ye....

Well, as fast as I was able to report on Al E. Gator, he was gone. The Game Warden was able to trap him this morning and take him away in a big cage - apparently Al was none too happy about it, as he thrashed and hissed and snapped the whole time. I guess he liked it here. Why shouldn't he? Nice float for sunning on, plenty of turtles and ducks to chow on, nobody really bothers him...it's no wonder 3 out of 4 gators choose our pond for Spring Break vacations! And apparently Al was Gator #2 this year...Game Warden says they removed another one last week. Maybe it was Al and they just didn't move him away far enough...I guess we'll never know. So goodbye, Al. See ya next Spring.

It's Baby Season!

Spring always brings babies....and so many people I know are having babies right now! A fellow dance teacher had her baby boy (her first!) 2 weeks ago; my daughter's first grade teacher is expecting her first baby - also a boy - in 2 weeks; same daughter's second grade teacher recently gave birth to TWIN boys (her first as well!); my son's Kindergarten teacher e-mailed me today with news of her second pregnancy (her first baby girl was born when son was in her class)- she is having another girl! Today a friend from church gave birth to her second child - her first daughter. I can't wait to go see her and hold her and love on her! I love babies.

Wait a minute - I don't think I love baby alligators.

Crikey!

We have a lovely pond in our neighborhood - quite close to my house, actually (just a couple of blocks away). Clear Creek is just a few feet from it, and the two are connected by a culvert. And there are woods all around and ducks and it is quite pleasant. We like to fish there - we usually catch perch or catfish, but there are bass in there, too, and turtles - both of which we have caught a few times. But our pond's newest resident is a big ol' alligator! We estimate he is about 8 or 9 feet long. He's been swimming around in the pond or lying out on the bank sunning himself for a few days now. We have a floating platform out in the middle of the pond where the ducks like to sleep (and protect themselves from the coyotes that live in the woods), and Mr. Al E. Gator has decided it is a nifty spot to sun himself (see below). He's been getting a lot of attention from the residents - and the Game Warden. They have a trap set up to try to catch him and relocate him to a more gator-friendly area. So far he's not falling for that, tho. While it is a bit scary to have a big ol' alligator hanging out in your neighborhood, it's kinda cool, too. How many people can say they have a gator for a neighbor?? Just keep an eye on your pets and small children......

Hosanna!

"The next day the great crowd that had come for the Feast heard that Jesus was on his way to Jerusalem. They took palm branches and went out to meet him, shouting,
'Hosanna!'
'Blessed is he who comes in the name of the Lord!'
'Blessed is the King of Israel!'"
John 12:12-13

The Bottom Line

Today at my daughter's intermediate school they had to make an important announcement. Apparently some students decided that today was National Butt-Grabbing Day, and there was an inappropriate amount of butt-grabbing going on. Students were advised that if anyone were to be caught grabbing butts that they would be issued a citation from the campus police officer. Butt-grabbing is a serious offense.

I think this is absolutely hilarious.

1-2-3-4-5-6!

An interesting tidbit of information that my daughter pointed out to me yesterday - on Wednesday (tomorrow), at two minutes and three seconds after 1:00 in the morning, the time and date will be: 01:02:03 04/05/06. That won't happen again for another hundred years! Pretty cool, huh?

Remote Chance

I am always amazed at the number of Urban Legends that get e-mailed to me as truth. Most of them are quite obviously not true, and I can almost always prove it by checking it out on Snopes.com. Today, however, I received one that required me to call a professional - my husband! The story goes like this:

"This only applies to cars that can be unlocked by that remote button on
your key ring. Should you lock your keys in the car and the spare keys are home,
and you don't have "OnStar," here's your answer to the problem! If someone has
access to the spare remote at your home, call them on your cell phone (or borrow
one from someone if the cell phone is locked in the car too!) Hold your (or
anyone's) cell phone about a foot from your car door and have the other person
at your home press the unlock button, holding it near the phone. Your car will
unlock. and it works. Saves someone from having to drive your keys to you.
Distance is no object. You could be hundreds of miles away, and if you can reach
someone who has the other "remote" for your car, you can unlock the doors (or
the trunk, or have the "horn" signal go off, or whatever!)"

Being that my husband is a professional in the car service industry, I asked him about this. He said that while he has had 2 or 3 customers tell him that this works, that he and the guys in his shop have never been able to make it work, therefore he doubts it is true. Further investigation on Snopes.com revealed just that - it isn't true. Which meant I had to e-mail the sender - AND everyone they sent it to - the cold, hard truth: they are spreading urban legends. This one did get me thinking, tho.....wouldn't that be cool if it did work?

(But I have OnStar, so even if I am dumb enough to lock my keys in my car I can just call them and they'll unlock it for me. How do they DO that??)

Return my lovey.....

Did you ever have a "lovey" as a child? You know - that special blanket or stuffed animal that always went to bed with you (and sometimes other places, too). Mine tended to vary with whichever stuffed animal was my favorite at the time - but even to this day I sleep holding a pillow. (Hubby is nice to hold, but not when sleeping - he is heavy and hot and moves! Pillows are soft and squishy.)

My son's lovey is a monkey named Anna. He named her himself when he was quite little. She has been lots of places with him - she even went with him when he has his adenoids removed when he was 5. She had her own hospital bracelet with her name on it and everything.

My daughter has gone thru 3 chenille teddy bears. The first, Teddy Bear Tom (named after a family friend), was given to her on her first birthday and she called him her "husband". She loved him until he fell apart (but we still have him put away for safe keeping, a good thing to do if you love your husband until he falls apart). His successor was Teddy Bear Tim (named after Bubba's friend and college roommate!). He lasted quite awhile, but one night she threw up on him and he had to go. There was no saving him. The last one is Trey - so named because he is the third. He still sits around in her room. BUT she also has this blanket - and yes, at 12 she still sleeps with it every night, but don't tell anyone! She has had it since she was a baby. I don't recall exactly how it came to be hers, but it used to be Bubba's. So its name is Bubba Blankie. Every time Bubba visits he pretends to try to take it back (well, maybe he's not pretending - I don't really know). But eventually he WILL get Bubba Blankie back, for it will be passed down to his baby one day. He better share.

April Fool

April Fool's Day has got to be my LEAST favorite holiday. Humor at the expense of other people just isn't my thing. However, my kids love it. This morning our toothbrushes were frozen into a block of ice in the freezer, the silverware in the drawer had been replaced with itty bitty Barbie silverware, and the box that holds my tea bags had sprouted flowers. All innocent pranks - altho we had to microwave the toothbrushes to break them free and use them this morning. Precious daughter thinks she is quite clever and funny. Perhaps I will serve her a "surprise" for dinner - maybe a frosted cupcake that is really a little meatloaf topped with mashed potatoes. I saw that in a magazine once and thought it was cute. On second thought, maybe I'll just bide my time until this day is over. I could even set the clocks forward a little early and my day will be an hour shorter!