I felt horrible all day today. I slept until 11:00 a.m., and when I got up my eyes were puffy and red, my head hurt, and I was exhausted.
Did I go on a bender last night?
I had a big cry.
They say crying is therapeutic. Excellent stress relief, reduces your risk for heart attack, blah blah blah. But I am of an age where crying absolutely wears me out.
I've always been a cryer. Even as a kid, sappy TV shows or Hallmark commercials would make me tear up. When I watched the finale of M*A*S*H, I bawled. Movies always get to me - even ones that don't make most people cry. Planes, Trains, and Automobiles? I bawled. And don't even get me started on the real tear-jerkers, like Titanic, Steel Magnolias, Fried Green Tomatoes.....I could go on and on. The most recent one to get me was Extremely Loud and Incredibly Close. I renamed it Extremely Sad and Incredibly Sad. I was a mess for hours. I won't even watch The Notebook. I already know what it will do to me.
I always cry at weddings. I cry if I see a baby be born on TV or in a movie. I cry at sad endings and happy endings. I cried when I sent my babies off to Kindergarten, and cried at all major milestones of Drama Daughter's senior year of high school. I cry in church. I cry when I read a good book. I cry when I hear particular songs. I cry during any dog or horse movie. I cry when I see soldiers reunited with their loved ones. I cry during this commercial. I cry when I think about my grandmother. Sometimes? I just cry.
Last night was a doozie - not your average dab-your-tears-with-a-Kleenex-and-sniffle-a-few-times cry, but an all-out sobbing, snotting mess. No worries - today I am fine. God has a way of working everything out, and comforting me when I'm at my worst. I have been cleansed.
But damn I'm tired.